Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
