I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
