If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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