So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
