I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize