no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
