No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
