when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What a dumb baby whore.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
