Already got asked if we're dating
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize