at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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