Banned from zoo.
Again?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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