Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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