I looked at my own cervix.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
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