Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
