Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
