one might say we're banned from that church
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
