My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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