GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
