Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize