Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
