I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
