no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
this boner is exhausting
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
