please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I deserve this hangover.
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