she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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