You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
