YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
