This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
