After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
time to smoke my breakfast
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
