she woke up with a sticky ear
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
