Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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