you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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