Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Randomize