We named our party play list daddy issues
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
