You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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