Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
