woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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