i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
