we have officially lost it.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
FUCK WHALES
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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