I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
