some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
