She is in my trunk
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
