Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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