Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.

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(518): View more from New York

you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.

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(518): View more from New York

idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever

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(770): View more from Georgia

All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.

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(425): View more from Washington

They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"

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(706): View more from Georgia

Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?

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(775): View more from Nevada

If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did

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