JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i need some magic done to my vagina
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize