I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
