There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
