There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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