i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
