Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
