Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
