dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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