Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
