Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
