Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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