walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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