the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
