Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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