Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i don't like sucking hair
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Randomize
