if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize