How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
