smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
