doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
