508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize