Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
