omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
is it fun? or sober?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
