That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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