Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
