I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I won't apologize to a one balled man
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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