I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We got so high we made milksteak
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
